Saturday, June 17, 2006

HOW A 7 YEAR OLD EXPLAINS SEX (humor)

This is pretty cute, enjoy.

This is how a kid explains sex...

Little Johnny was 7 years old and like other boys his age
he had a few questions that heeded some answers. He had been
hearing quite a bit about 'making out' from the older boys, and he wondered what it was and how it was done.


One day he took a question to his mother, who became
rather flustered. Instead of explaining things to Johnny, she
told him to hide behind the curtains one night and watch his older sister and her boyfriend.

This he did. The following morning, Johnny described
EVERYTHING to his mother.

"Sis and her boyfriend sat and talked for a while, then he
turned off most of the lights. Then he started kissing and
hugging her. I figured 'Sis must be getting sick, because
her face started looking funny. He must have thought so too,
because he put his hand inside her blouse to feel her heart,
just the way the doctor would. Except he's not as smart as the
doctor because he seemed to have trouble finding her heart beat.

I guess he was getting sick too, because pretty soon both of
them started panting and getting all out of breath.
His other hand must have been cold because he put it under
her skirt. About this time 'Sis got worse and began to moan
and sigh and squirm around and slide down toward the end of the
couch.

This was when her fever started. I knew it was a fever, because
sis told him she felt really hot. Finally, I found out what was making them
so sick.

A big eel had gotten inside his pants somehow. It just jumped out of
his pants and stood there, about 10 inches long, honest, anyway he grabbed
it in one hand to keep it from getting away.

When Sis saw it, she got really scared-her eyes got big,
and her mouth fell open, and she started calling out to God and
stuff like that.

She said it was the biggest one she's ever seen, I should
tell her about the ones down at the lake by our house! Anyway,
Sis got brave and tried to kill the eel by biting its head
off. All of a sudden she grabbed it with both hands and held
it tight while he took a muzzle out of his pocket and slipped it
over the eel's head to keep it from biting again.

Sis lay back and spread her legs so she could get a scissor-lock
on it and he helped by lying on top of the eel. The eel put up a
hell of a fight. Sis started groaning and squealing and her
boyfriend almost upset the couch. I guess they wanted to
kill the eel by squashing it between them.

After a while they both quit moving and gave a great sigh.
Her boyfriend got up, and sure enough, they killed the eel.
I knew because it just hung there, limp, and some of its insides
were hanging out.

Sis and her boyfriend were a little tired from the battle, but
they went back to courting anyway. He started hugging and
kissing her again. By golly, the eel wasn't dead! It jumped
straight up and started to fight again.

I guess eels are like cats- they have nine lives or something.
This time, Sis jumped up and tried to kill it by sitting on it.
After about a 35 minute struggle, they finally killed the
eel. I knew it was dead, because I saw Sis's boyfriend peel its skin off and flush it down the toilet.

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